Grief is like a suitcase 2-4-18 (unfinished)


From a conversation overheard that made me think (2-4-18): "Grief is like a weight you carry around." It gave me pause for thought.

What, really, is grief? It is more than a weight--it's like a weighty suitcase because it is not solid nor whole, but more like a weighty box from living, filled with both treasured memories you don't want to lose necessarily and overwhelming heaviness from loss that could consume your soul and force you down forever. The good, the bad, the dredged up memories may be worth keeping, but they add to the weight of your load to carry as you grieve.

There are times when you put down the weight, open that ever present lock attached to your heart and mind. You can rummage through its contents to either lighten the load for the day, or to  through its contents to find just the right piece of the burden that you want to pull away from the other parts of the suitcase of grieving to examine for a season. A death? A funeral? A story of love lost or a timeframe of living that was particularly uncomfortable? Sometimes, you have to dig through the contents of this weight to find just the right memory or recollection; to ponder its parts as a whole or in pieces; to cherish or regret or wish to relive. Then, there is a smile, a tear, or sometimes both. When the emotion of the memory has passed, the part removed is then returned to the tissue layers of the suitcase with satisfaction of some healing, or a nostalgic half smile; still to be carried by its owner for another season. "They" say, time heals all wounds." Others say the wound just becomes a tolerable amount of heaviness, pressed to the bottom of the suitcase only to resurface at some point in the future. Many times that grief rises up in your soul; not because you wanted it to. But a snatch of memory, a smell, a familiar picture or event comes back to your heart The weight does not diminish. You just get used to its presence being in the weighted suitcase you are carrying around.

The good thing about about this weighty handled attachment to you is that people can add to those memories at impromptu times. They may not know their reminisces add to the weight of that case--for good or ill, but added nonetheless. The owner may not have a grief-weighty case to carry around as of yet, but sooner or later, everyone acquires one.

Some weighted suitcases are larger, heavier than others. Everyone one carries the weight of grief differently.

KAHILL GIBRAN
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest of souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."

BILL BENNETT
"How we walk with the broken speaks louder than how we sit with the great."

Grief is somehow, in some way, known to most all people. It does not necessarily have to be a death; it could manifest itself as a "lost opportunity;" the moving of a dear friend and the communication you always treasured and looked forward to are now missing from your life. What if it is a friendship that irrevocably be left unmended? 

The type of suitcase holding the weight is ambiguous to others, but unique and as varied as its carrier. The load could be lightened, by rummaging through those tissue thin layers of memory, but you often don't. You might need one of those throw-aways at some unforeseen time in the future. If not, their pieces of your heart and soul would have let them go a long time ago.

So, what is grief, really?

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